Chaos Monk, freestyle D&D version

I’ve been on a D&D trip, lately.
And Hill Cantons, Chris Kutalik’s brilliant creation, Hill Cantons, man! Anyway, I digress. Chris posted his tongue-in-cheek Cahos Monk class a few years ago. I’m still in love with it. Its sheer Napoleon Dynamite-ness is breathtaking. I want to play a chaos monk, right here and now!

…and all the D&D versions I have sitting on my shelves are way too complicated.

So, I’m rolling the six stats, 3d6 in order, and switch them around till I like them, and arrive at this:

STR 10
DEX 11
CON 6
INT 12
WIS 11
CHA 9

Saves: roll on or under the most appropriate stat

HD: 1d5 = 2

Now, I’m opening my post “Quick rules for playing D&D, any edition” in a new window.

Then, I’m taking a look at the Chaos Monk’s starting abilities:
– no armor allowed
– add (DEX/3 –3, rounded down), and +1 per 2 levels to armor
– use only lame weapons 🙂
– are only surprised on a 1 in 8, and only if “spoken to by a member of the opposite gender”

OK, Armor: DEX bonus = 0
To-hit: roll on or under (9+HD) = 10

For everything else, use MoldHammer.